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questionableadvice:

~ Everyday Etiquette: A Practical Manual of Social Usages, by Marion Harland and Virginia Van De Water, 1905

[image: block of text: ‘The napkin must never be tucked into the neck of gown or shirt, nor must it be fastened to the belt or the waistcoat-button. After one leaves the nursery one should be able to eat without a bib.’]

These writers may not have been blessed with big boobs and a big stomach.

1. I cannot balance a napkin on my lap. There isn’t enough space and it slides off.

2. My boobs are enormous, so a stray drop of sauce would never make it to a lap-based napkin. The boobs get in the way.

Therefore, I either avoid eating saucy, drippy foods in public, tuck a napkin into the neck of my shirt, or accept the inevitable drips.

I CANNOT EAT WITHOUT A BIB.